So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
