I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
