Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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