I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
