You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
