...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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