you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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