I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize