i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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