That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
