haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I can tuck mytits in my pants
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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