that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
