She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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