I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
