I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
