I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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