Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
