New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
