well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
