this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
