So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
just tell him i said nine months
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
