ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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