If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
