i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
