Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
