Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
