I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
