YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
