I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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