Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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