I'm going to jail i love you
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
