I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
