I want you more than these girls want KFC
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
