Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
