i was rollin on her like bob the builder
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
