apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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