yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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