Duck Duck Cougar?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Randomize
