Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
