shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
