so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
wanna go halves on a baby?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
