life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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