I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
