You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
