Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
