why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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