You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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