According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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