So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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