I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
