I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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