The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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