I bet he comes in French.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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