I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
