I wish I only lived at night.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
