I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You ruined the universe
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
