I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
