you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
