A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
