your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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